my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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