whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
