she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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