Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
