I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
