best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
