I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.