Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless