His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me