Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.

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  (815): I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/se3d
  Replies (10) Good night (5377) Bad night (1112)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before

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  (828): what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before http://tfl.nu/qvbs
  Replies (7) Good night (774) Bad night (3178)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..

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  (314): Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is.. http://tfl.nu/1wrs
  Replies (50) Good night (2341) Bad night (9538)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag

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  (970): He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag http://tfl.nu/538a
  Replies (16) Good night (1281) Bad night (4835)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  What'd you guys eat?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Literally everything that was frozen.

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  (918): What'd you guys eat? (1-918): Literally everything that was frozen. http://tfl.nu/igjp
  Replies (8) Good night (4238) Bad night (993)
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  (408): View more from California

  My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.

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  (408): My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me. http://tfl.nu/7zz8
  Replies (5) Good night (1325) Bad night (2317)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

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  (812): he went at my nipples like a starved dog. http://tfl.nu/ku4j
  Replies (11) Good night (730) Bad night (1508)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  Am I going to be on condom boxes?

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  (803): You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time. (1-803): Am I going to be on condom boxes? http://tfl.nu/pwx5
  Replies (4) Good night (2391) Bad night (553)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".

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  (920): You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died". http://tfl.nu/180h
  Replies (4) Good night (1059) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him

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  (904): He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him http://tfl.nu/dcu2
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (795)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.

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  (775): I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box. http://tfl.nu/0vry
  Replies (2) Good night (351) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.

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  (989): We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart. http://tfl.nu/g13u
  Replies (2) Good night (647) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.

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  (501): Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date. http://tfl.nu/kb0j
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.

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  (850): There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it. http://tfl.nu/gs3q
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (137)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night

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  (971): In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/yyso
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (34)

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