Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(613): View more from Ontario

Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?

Fav 9 3908 842
share tweet
(905): View more from Toronto

when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college

Fav 43 1628 6619
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(618): View more from Illinois

i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

Fav 8 3997 1401
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.

Fav 7 5437 1365
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?

Fav 17 3751 2200
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.

Fav 7 3281 1012
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.

Fav 4 1869 877
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(620): View more from Kansas

We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.

Fav 3 825 550
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.

Fav 3 97 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT