Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.