and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize