I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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