ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
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At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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