shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
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