either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
