my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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