You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
