Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
