Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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