at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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