I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
