quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
