I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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