They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
