I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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