She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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