The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
