I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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