If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
just found out that she named her cat after me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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