:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
