you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
