Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
