he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
