so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
