I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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