Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize