He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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