I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
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If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
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I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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