I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Randomize
