butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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