As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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