How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
