i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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