real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
