Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
