I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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