its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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