i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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