honey bunches of taint.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
