so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
