coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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