just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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