And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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