I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
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I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
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The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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