Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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