it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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