i can't believe i had my finger in that
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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