Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
