I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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