I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
