even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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