She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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