I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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