This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
