Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize