dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
