it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
