i'm signing you up for texting rehab
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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